Ok, so we have officially experienced our first "judgement" since the pregnancy started. Today is the first day I have cried in a really long time, and it's sad that someone like this had to be the cause of it.
I don't care if anyone gets offended by this, because this is my opinion only... and my blog. So, I'll start from the beginning...
Joash had auditioned to play music a couple weeks ago at a church that he has been going to in Baton Rouge. He said the audition went really well, and the next day the guy emailed him letting him know how great he played, and that they should get together to talk about perhaps playing together. He invited Joash to lunch, and they met up and got to know eachother some more. I thought it was odd that the guy never worked a deal out or a schedule for him to play, since they have many services and expressed how they could use him. After that lunch, the guy told him yet again, he would email him.
Joash then got a phone call from another guy who wanted to meet with him today. He actually was the instructor for this relationship class we attended last weekend, so we didn't think it had anything to do with the music program. Well, come to find out this guy has some say-so in who plays music for the church, and wanted to speak with Joash about that. So, lo and behold we found out why there was never any word of when Joash would start playing. Apparently this church has "rules" that will not allow anyone to play for them if they are "not right with God". So since they found out that Joash and I were living together, and have a baby on the way, they are not allowing him to be on the stage to play in front of the congregation. I freakin LOST IT. I mean, who are you to judge?!?! This is the first time that I have felt like absolute SHIT for being in the situation that we are in. Never have I EVER regretted the fact that we will be having a baby. Eventhough it is not the "traditional" thing to do, I still believe it was in God's plan for it to happen. I refuse to let this "Godly person" judge us for being who we are. I mean, come on, how many church-goers are going to know that Joash is living with someone and has a baby out-of-wedlock?!?! Joash wasn't near as upset as I was, and he said that many churches are that way. Are they not supposed to be underdstanding and supportive? We all are sinners on this Earth, and I think it's just plain hypocritical with what they were doing to us. I mean, would they have let him play for them even if we weren't living together, but were still pregnant? I just don't get it.... I told Joash that I am not going back to that class, and I will not attend a service with him there anymore. I will not let anyone else judge myself or my precious miracle baby.
Thanks for letting me vent.....
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